I found work and I’m very excited! Starting this tuesday at 3:30 in the afternoon I will begin to test printers at HP in Vancouver. It’s not too great (the pay is about 8.50) but I get a cubicle, and there is the possibility of expansion toward other parts of HP later. I get some kind of discount too though I havn’t talked to anyone about that yet. Actually, we havn’t really discussed my wage either so I should probably really do that tuesday before I actually start to work. I need to do my drug screening monday since, due to the fact portland has the worst road structure ever created (In the United States) I arrived just a little too late to the place I needed to be.

My parents recently have been treating me like I’m really irresponsible and I don’t do anything, which is funny because they started lecturing me about this when they got home from the casino on Saturday. I guess finding a job, having a 4.0 at school, and keeping your room neat constantly doesn’t count for anything. They say all they ever see me do is play games, so I pointed out that I had a play timer going that day and had only been playing 1hr and 30min at that point.

Whatever, none of that really matters I guess since hopefully I will soon be able to move out of the house with Alex (and possibly Ady). It’d be nice not having to deal with certain things that just come with being at home.

I feel really unmotivated to do just about anything anymore. I’m sitting at my computer with a full plate of things to do in front of me, but all I can seem to bring myself to do is well, come to my site and complain. I know hardly anyone hears anymore and that kind of makes it feel fruitless too but I can’t seem to bring myself to think that it’s totaly worthless. Besides that though I don’t really know what’s left. It’s like reaching the level right before max in an mmorpg and wondering what the point in going any further is. Sure you’d have that level to show off, but to whom? A bunch of people who don’t really appreciate the work you put into it?

I feel that way about just about everything these days. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I’ve tried lifting my spirits with those things I normaly like, alcohol, being around people, being alone, it all feels senseless. The only thing I have yet to try that I’m thinking might work is to travel, but where, and with what funds? Would I come back? Would things be any different in this new place?

I’m sure this feeling isn’t at all “unique” and that somebody else has been there and found a solution as to how to stop feeling this way, and I wish I could find it too, maybe somebody can give me their solution and it will work for me. Not that I’m too optimistic about that. I think I’m going to go do more nothing. By the way, layout isn’t done yet, I know I’m slacking, chew me out if you care.